Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome

Do you have a nagging voice in your head telling you that you're a fraud, that you don't belong, or that what you have achieved is just down to a lot of luck that is going to run out? Do you fear that sooner or later people are going to realise that you don’t have a clue what you are doing! Most of us have succumbed to imposter syndrome at some point, some people more than others, but in all likely hood you are not an imposter at all. The very fact that you are questioning probably makes you a stronger more conscientious candidate for that role than most other people. A bit of questioning and second guessing can be good allowing you to be open to learn and grow… as long as you don’t let it knock your confidence or hold you back in any way. Accept that growing into a role is a gradual process and believe that you are gradually becoming the expert.

Recognise Your Accomplishments

 You need to recognize your achievements! Each win is a win, so celebrate the wins however small. Sometimes a win is just that nothing went wrong, or that you could successfully counter something that did go wrong rather than achieving something specific or big, so make sure you are chalking up all your wins. Keep a list of your successes, big or small like getting a promotion, being offered a challenging project or even just showing up when you really didn’t weren’t feeling it. Seeing a list of small (or large) personal victories written down can be a powerful visual reminder of your value and worth. Challenge negative thoughts by looking at the evidence.  When you catch yourself thinking that you don’t belong, challenge that thought. Look at your accomplishments and look for evidence that proves this negative thought wrong.  

Get Self Validation

 As social beings we instinctively look for validation and approval from others, but the most crucial validation comes from yourself. You are most probably your own worst critic. Learn to accept compliments graciously rather than brushing them off. When someone praises your work, let it sink in, absorb it and languish in it as much as you wallow in criticisms instead of downplaying it… then move on to the next big thing. Allow yourself moments of glory. If you come from a cultural background where it is polite to reject compliments, make sure that the rejection of the compliment is only superficial to meet the demands of polite society while inwardly giving yourself that moment of glory.

Everyone makes mistakes

Normalise failure; it's part of being human. Rather than fixating on your fails consider them to be learning experiences. Each fail is a learning curve giving you new skills and insights ultimately putting you in the position to be able to achieve your goals. Almost all success stories are built on a mountain of failed attempts.

Share your Feelings

Imposter syndrome thrives in isolation. When you share your experiences and feelings with friends, colleagues, or mentors you will usually find that it is a shared experience. Networking and connecting with others, apart from being good practise, will reinforce how much you actually know. Seeing and getting to know others in your field on a human level will show you how alike you are to them in many ways showing their flaws and weaknesses and not just their strengths.

Keep Learning

Embrace being a lifelong learner rather than trying to be an expert with all the answers. Knowledge and technology is constantly developing in every field, so there is never likely to be a time that you do actually know everything. A mindset shift can take the pressure off you and help you see your journey as one of continual growth. You are better than you were and not yet as good as you will be. Celebrate your progress recognizing and celebrating all your growth, however small it may seem at the time.

Practice Self-Compassion

Most of all be kind to yourself. When you make a mistake or face a setback, treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend.

Imposter syndrome might never fully go away so turn it into your super-power. Reframe any residual imposter syndrome as the driving force behind growth and learning. Live your life with confidence and self-assurance aware that you know more and are better at what you are doing than you were last year, and you will be even better next year. You are capable, you are enough, and you have earned your place so don’t let your inner voice, or anyone else’s voice for that matter, convince you otherwise.

 

 

Megan du Plessis

Registered Bereavement and Trauma Counsellor providing support and treatment to clients all over the world, both domestic and corporate.

https://www.betterdayscounselling.co.uk
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