Authenticity
Being True to Yourself: Embracing Authenticity
Does that little voice inside you constantly bombard you with expectations, constant comparisons, and impossible societal norms? These expectations were usually born when you were growing up, trying to fit in and have since been fed by mainstream and social media. Have the demands and expectations of others become your expectations without you realizing it? Finding and embracing your authentic self, the real you can be daunting and scary. You don’t feel good enough on so many levels, but, being true to yourself and authentic is the cornerstone of a happy and fulfilling life. It’s about cutting down on the stress of trying to be someone else and aligning your actions with your true values and beliefs. In today’s world where most of us still need to earn a living and function in society, we can’t just ignore all external pressures and expectations, but gaining some perspective on exactly how much give and take living life involves and how much you can realistically give and take without compromising your mental health is vital. Being authentic means showing up and being comfortable as your genuine self with your imperfections and still being able to function optimally because you know your boundaries and are in touch with what is important to you.
The Value of Authenticity
1. Creating Genuine Connections
I often hear people say they have trouble finding like-minded friends, acquaintances and even romantic partners. However, if you don’t know your true self and don’t live that reality how will you find other people who do? And just as importantly how will they find you? Someone out there is looking just for you, but won’t recognize you if you are not showing your true self. Authenticity attracts like-minded people and promotes deeper, more meaningful relationships. When you are true to yourself, you signal to others that it’s safe to be real with you, developing mutual respect and trust.
2. Confidence and Self-Esteem and Improving Mental Well-Being
When you live authentically you are embracing who you are, not only accepting your flaws but also valuing your strengths, boosting your self-esteem. You gain confidence when you aren’t trying to live up to unrealistic standards and fulfil unnecessary demands. The focus is on your real needs what you can do, not what you can’t do.
Trying to fulfil the needs you are told to have and pretending to be someone you think you should be is exhausting. By narrowing the focus to what you really need and what you can achieve, you will find a lot of the stress will slide off your shoulders allowing more peace of mind and a sense of inner harmony.
3. Personal Growth
Self-awareness and introspection are dynamic processes that help you discover and stay connected to your true (constantly growing) self. It is an ongoing exploration and understanding of your values, desires, and emotions allowing continuous personal growth and self-improvement. You are not a static being and the pressures and demands on you are constantly changing so accept and embrace those changes too. Needs that were central to your well-being may no longer be of importance which is important to recognise so that you don’t waste energy chasing dreams that you no longer truly value.
Steps to Embracing Your Authentic Self
1. Self-knowledge
Find and know your base lines and work from that. What can you not compromise on… ever, and what is negotiable? Take time to reflect on your values, passions, and what really matters to you. Use whatever method comes naturally to you; traditional mindfulness, journaling, meditation, or talking to trusted friends or a therapist to help you gain clarity about your true self but if you are more comfortable with more formal analysis methods and spreadsheets go with that. It is worth stepping out of the box and trying something new but don’t fall into the trap of trying to embrace the authentic you using trendy methods completely out of your comfort zone and just stepping out of one box into another box.
2. Accept Imperfections
No one even knows what perfect is! Everybody’s idea of perfection is different so embrace your so-called ‘flaws’ as part of your unique identity. Turn your ‘imperfections’ into your superpowers; they are part of what makes you ‘you’ so learn to love and use them.
3. Set Boundaries
Being authentic includes saying no and setting boundaries when you need to. Your well-being is as important as other people’s so protect your energy. Be respectful but also be assertive and stand by your convictions.
4. Follow Your Passion
Do things that ignite your passion and bring you joy. It could be as a hobby, career, or cause, but following your passion keeps you connected with your true self. It shows people who you are so that you can make more meaningful connections and find your own tribe.
5. Accept Vulnerability and Find Support
Being honest about your feelings and experiences, even when it’s uncomfortable can be scary and make you vulnerable, but it helps people understand you better strengthening your relationships and making connections with others more meaningful.
Mix with people who accept and encourage your authentic self. Friends and family can provide a safe space to express your true identity without fear of judgment.
Challenges to Authenticity
1. Fear of Rejection
Fear of judgment and rejection can stop you from being authentic. In the same way that you don’t like everyone else or share their views and values it is perfectly understandable that not everyone will understand or accept your authentic self. Rather than seeing it as rejection, see it for what it is; a natural filter that should help save you from wasting time on dead-end relationships of all kinds. Focus on people who appreciate you for who you are.
2. Societal Pressures
Society’s standards of success, beauty, and behaviour are constantly changing so what is relevant now has not always been so and will not always be. Challenge the norms of the moment and define success on your terms. Live a life that resonates with your values. You don’t always need to conform to societal expectations.
3. Challenge Your Inner Critic
Your inner critic is often harsh and relentless, more so than towards other people, so challenge negative self-talk. Be compassionate and be as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in need of a kind word.
The Reward of Authenticity
By living authentically you get to experience life more fully, build deeper connections, and recognise things to be truly grateful for. This gives a sense of inner peace and fulfilment. You are not a static being and are constantly growing through new experiences and challenges so the journey to authenticity is continuous and ever-evolving. It requires courage, self-reflection, and a willingness to take the risk of being vulnerable when you truly are. However, the rewards are huge!
Embrace your true self with all your diverse parts, celebrate your uniqueness, and let your authenticity shine. By being authentic, you get the chance to live life to the full and may even motivate others to embrace their true selves too. There is only one you, the world needs you too and that is your super-power!